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thefarmingmother

As a SEND parent Christmas can be anything from amazing to dreadful

I see you shaking your head as you know only too well how it goes


It’s ment to be a special magical time of the year, everyone’s sharing their pictures of the decorations, festive activities and how many perfectly wrapped presents they have laid out from Father Christmas.


Now don’t get me wrong when my older two was little Christmas went a lot different and I had the same expectations with Maddison-Genevieve

Ohhh how fucking wrong could I be!!!!


There’s no Christmas build up excitement, events I once did with the boys to enhance the magic are a no go because this is the reality


1.its different and not the routine

2. Who the hell are these dressed up people wanting to get close to me

3. Why is everywhere so busy and loud

4. Why is there decorations all over the house

5. Everything gets taken down a million times and I sit thinking why did I bother

6. Why is everyone making a fuss, why is the room got these things that people are taking apart

7. Why is there something inside something that I carnt just touch

8. That’s new I’m not going near that

9. Why’s the table got all these bits on it

10. Why is everyone home

11. Where’s the usual routine

12.whys everyone got this different energy

13. Why are people trying to talk to me and give me things


Her idea of a festive fun activity is walking down the isles at the range seeing the lights and lining up the Christmas figure ornaments that I try to stop her from either eating or throwing and smashing (a football goalkeeper has nothing on my skills)


These are all the things playing out to mads


It’s all out of the norm and thats where dysregulation from her routine, emotions and exceptions , not being how they was, are now all in overdrive and it’s melt down after meltdown

But you have to find the balance right because you have other children who enjoy Christmas


So let’s just take a moment unpack this who says we have to do all the traditional things and all those perfect picture moments and set ups


Who says the presents have to be wrapped or given on the same day


Does the mum guilt kick in



Too right it does but that’s for you thinking that your not doing what is right but in actual fact doing what suits your child is the right thing



So if they eat crackers and cheese for Christmas lunch or don’t sit at the table who cares they are eating


If they don’t have a billion presents and get a unwrapped sensory toy they love, that’s been there a few days before Christmas, if they are happy who care.


If you give a little gift once a week unwrapped just placed there and they might look at it in 3 days - it makes them happy do that


You didn’t go see the big guy and get that yearly picture, who cares we all know we work all year to give them the gifts so have your own picture with them even if it’s just you with them in the back ground


If you have children that still believe explain that there is the gift on Christmas from Santa and these are the ones you send the money to Santa for that’s why some children get more or less than others and because of X needs Santa has a special SEND elf squad that does those children differently.


Stop trying to put so much pressure on you and embrace and enjoy what works for you and your family because that’s the memories that count


The memories

And yes there will still be challenges but take time for you because a stressed parent doesn’t make for a happy Christmas


If you need help with this check out my SOS call offer I shared today for my rainbow and sparkle Friday.





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